My out of order states are getting onto my nerves. All that is in my head now equates to NegativeSssssssss.
After my disappointed trip to Milan, I got back and could not make it to Perth. Guess the cold weather and the sleep or no sleep at ungodly timing caused everything to come down on me. Had fever on and off and now that is better, I am starting to sneeze. Had to take the drowsy medication to make myself sleep in awhile.
My resolution of a healthy diet and sleeping pattern is really in a big mess. I either really eat unhealthy stuff and feel hungry after that or out of boredom stuffed myself with excess food. At some other times, I don't eat at all but take on drinks too much for my empty stomach to handle. No wonder my weight is not of my ideal... good reflection at least. Ballooning is one of the after effect of such. How irritating can this be. I just want to lead a normal healthy life! No discipline plus environment and work timings - ah!!! Which to handle first?!?
Things around me too - not in good order. My schedule for February is disrupted due to the inefficiency of people in the company. Shall not go through the ordeal of describing in details. In short, the inefficiency, inaccuracy, improper management, incorrect protocols, unresponsive systems created all the inconveniences for many of those like me!
Right, I am starting to feel the effect of the tiny yellow pill... my next entry - Positives?
Oh negatives, please do not eat me up.
Oh negatives, you kill my senses out.
Please - not up but out!
31 January 2008
24 January 2008
When are we complete?
When are we complete? Do you feel the fullness in life now? Or is there something missing in your life?
A close buddy of mine is recently pretty upset. Yes, it's once again BGR that caused emotions to twirl and swirl. Like ice creams, it's pretty awesome to look at a ice cream cone formed nicely but as it melts away, it creates such a mess. The need for tissue to clean up. The need to wash hands to get the sticky feeling off.
Many times, we do not understand why people want to get into a relationship when they are not confident to even behold it for long. The sad part is, when they decide to let go - they become heartless, not even an effort to feel the pain that pierce through the other. Then again, without falling and pain, we may not learn how it feels. Life is just as such isn't it? The pains in life keeps us awake and allows us to be on our toes every now and then. What don't kill you makes you stronger.
We ask also why people we deem to have good qualities to be attached, single for a long time. Not taking interest at all in relationships. Experiences of the past could be one of the very valid reason. Especially when bad experiences remind you of that pain that you have to go through. The number of attempts which proved to be all painful. People do avoid getting into such mess because of the fears and reality bites.
Another friend of mine mentioned this. We are never complete unless we have family, friends and that someone special. Most of the times, the singles will say, "Friends are all we need..."
It's pretty true, however, as life stages go on, friends move on, singles remain where they stop. There and then, the loneliness will slowly creep in like claws of silent nights.
When are we complete? Guess it's up to an individual to define. There are people who can live life and term it complete with family and friends or just with self. We are all different. But for those who are emotionally inclined, when is completion ever a beginning and end? Will being complete equates to the happiness that pillars your world? What makes you complete then?
A close buddy of mine is recently pretty upset. Yes, it's once again BGR that caused emotions to twirl and swirl. Like ice creams, it's pretty awesome to look at a ice cream cone formed nicely but as it melts away, it creates such a mess. The need for tissue to clean up. The need to wash hands to get the sticky feeling off.
Many times, we do not understand why people want to get into a relationship when they are not confident to even behold it for long. The sad part is, when they decide to let go - they become heartless, not even an effort to feel the pain that pierce through the other. Then again, without falling and pain, we may not learn how it feels. Life is just as such isn't it? The pains in life keeps us awake and allows us to be on our toes every now and then. What don't kill you makes you stronger.
We ask also why people we deem to have good qualities to be attached, single for a long time. Not taking interest at all in relationships. Experiences of the past could be one of the very valid reason. Especially when bad experiences remind you of that pain that you have to go through. The number of attempts which proved to be all painful. People do avoid getting into such mess because of the fears and reality bites.
Another friend of mine mentioned this. We are never complete unless we have family, friends and that someone special. Most of the times, the singles will say, "Friends are all we need..."
It's pretty true, however, as life stages go on, friends move on, singles remain where they stop. There and then, the loneliness will slowly creep in like claws of silent nights.
When are we complete? Guess it's up to an individual to define. There are people who can live life and term it complete with family and friends or just with self. We are all different. But for those who are emotionally inclined, when is completion ever a beginning and end? Will being complete equates to the happiness that pillars your world? What makes you complete then?
23 January 2008
Bad days
Everyone has their bad days I guess. I just had mine. It all started well beginning this month when I had the opportunity to visit Milan over a four days period. However, it started out wrong. From the people I have to travel with to the faulty internet connection I paid for to plans that did not happened.
Italy is a place I always wanted to visit. From Milan, Florence, Pisa, Venice, Rome etc. However, this trip being a great opportunity to roam about, turned out to be a great disappointment with no one to go out with. Not that I cannot do it alone but what's the point without travel mates? I tried walking in the streets and thanks to luck, I was disturb and even pestered by a few boys. I was dressed decently mind you, winter clothes!!! Just luck I guess! Waited this morning as some of us did plan to meet and head to Florence. After 30 minutes of waiting, I made calls. Right guess? Two said they were not feeling well, one just woke up, so in the end, plan cancelled. Me? Back in the room with laptop and hoping the internet connection will not fail me this time.
What else can I do right? Just hope time pass by faster so that my hopes for Milan here will melt away. Guess Italy trip will have to be another time, with friends who will make things more happening and meaningful!
Let me get back on MSN - to stay in touch with the world, not feeling so lonely at least...
Italy is a place I always wanted to visit. From Milan, Florence, Pisa, Venice, Rome etc. However, this trip being a great opportunity to roam about, turned out to be a great disappointment with no one to go out with. Not that I cannot do it alone but what's the point without travel mates? I tried walking in the streets and thanks to luck, I was disturb and even pestered by a few boys. I was dressed decently mind you, winter clothes!!! Just luck I guess! Waited this morning as some of us did plan to meet and head to Florence. After 30 minutes of waiting, I made calls. Right guess? Two said they were not feeling well, one just woke up, so in the end, plan cancelled. Me? Back in the room with laptop and hoping the internet connection will not fail me this time.
What else can I do right? Just hope time pass by faster so that my hopes for Milan here will melt away. Guess Italy trip will have to be another time, with friends who will make things more happening and meaningful!
Let me get back on MSN - to stay in touch with the world, not feeling so lonely at least...
13 January 2008
Events that started 2008
Since the beginning of 2008, Winter has been my companion. It will be a friend all the way to FEB I guess! Somehow cold weather does bring on many thoughts and the mood for lazing.
Been sleepless most of the times, with funny routines that I cannot seem to avoid. Gets on my nerves really. Discipline for meal times just cannot be right. Either nothing, too little, too much, unhealthy junks or simply crazy good food! Just like my sleep - sleepless or total K.O. sessions once awhile. My resolution for 2008 to kick of healthy does not seem to take place. How irritating can I be to myself? Wanting to lose those "f"!!! Don't know if it's just my disorder or a need to... *B-slap* self!
I just attended a BBQ session/Bday surprise/gathering last night at Dubai Marina. Was a great place to stay at! Reminds me of East Coast Park back home. Probably staying there will make my choice of settlement a different one. Finally caught up with the gang here after approx. two months as I have been away. Lots to catch up on especially things that were happening with friends. One got a girlfriend recently - really happy to see him attached. Others been back from tours and leave. Hmmm, wondering when I will head on to a good holiday with someone at least!Of course, there is GG who had to vent the unlucky events that happened - car accidents! Guess the surprise last night killed the anger off and hopefully will lead on to better luck! Being away from home and having friends to remember your special day warms the heart really. Thanks to those who made it happen for Lyndy and GG, the GOH twins!
Not been partying with the group ever since last October. Wonder when we will be able to gather everyone out to play!
It's a home day for me. Hope to adjust my sleep and diet back to the green zone on the health bar. Till the next... hope those at home had a great weekend!
Been sleepless most of the times, with funny routines that I cannot seem to avoid. Gets on my nerves really. Discipline for meal times just cannot be right. Either nothing, too little, too much, unhealthy junks or simply crazy good food! Just like my sleep - sleepless or total K.O. sessions once awhile. My resolution for 2008 to kick of healthy does not seem to take place. How irritating can I be to myself? Wanting to lose those "f"!!! Don't know if it's just my disorder or a need to... *B-slap* self!
I just attended a BBQ session/Bday surprise/gathering last night at Dubai Marina. Was a great place to stay at! Reminds me of East Coast Park back home. Probably staying there will make my choice of settlement a different one. Finally caught up with the gang here after approx. two months as I have been away. Lots to catch up on especially things that were happening with friends. One got a girlfriend recently - really happy to see him attached. Others been back from tours and leave. Hmmm, wondering when I will head on to a good holiday with someone at least!Of course, there is GG who had to vent the unlucky events that happened - car accidents! Guess the surprise last night killed the anger off and hopefully will lead on to better luck! Being away from home and having friends to remember your special day warms the heart really. Thanks to those who made it happen for Lyndy and GG, the GOH twins!
Not been partying with the group ever since last October. Wonder when we will be able to gather everyone out to play!
It's a home day for me. Hope to adjust my sleep and diet back to the green zone on the health bar. Till the next... hope those at home had a great weekend!
07 January 2008
A StOrY...of "timing"...
They got to learn about each other in school. He saw her before yet she has no idea how he looks like. Heard of his name, kind of figured out who he is. Chatted on net and were pouring sorrows at the same time. They had never met each other face to face till a vague introduction was made. Nothing was said. Nothing progressed.
She left school first and moved to another stage of her life. Got in touch again but this time something was in spark. However wrong the timing was then, they kind of wanted to figure out if things can be worked out. Times were spent, painted with a picture, a thousand words can never describe. A series of events led to some others. Mostly unpleasant and heartbreaking. He backed out not wanting to make things worse. He took a step forward after some time when she was in a mess. He forwarded, she backed, wanting him to move on better.
Years gone, friendship remained unchanged. Both went through stages of life as per normal. Updating each other once awhile. That special ringing of connection still tingles. The conversations of both seem to have taken warmth, replacing the winter on different parts of the world.
Timing then, it was wrong. Times spent together at present, zero. Distance apart, a fact. Future of both, uncertain. Timing now and next, unknown.
Will they both make it together for the next winter?
She left school first and moved to another stage of her life. Got in touch again but this time something was in spark. However wrong the timing was then, they kind of wanted to figure out if things can be worked out. Times were spent, painted with a picture, a thousand words can never describe. A series of events led to some others. Mostly unpleasant and heartbreaking. He backed out not wanting to make things worse. He took a step forward after some time when she was in a mess. He forwarded, she backed, wanting him to move on better.
Years gone, friendship remained unchanged. Both went through stages of life as per normal. Updating each other once awhile. That special ringing of connection still tingles. The conversations of both seem to have taken warmth, replacing the winter on different parts of the world.
Timing then, it was wrong. Times spent together at present, zero. Distance apart, a fact. Future of both, uncertain. Timing now and next, unknown.
Will they both make it together for the next winter?
02 January 2008
Miss Lonely
The start of 2008 was on a high note.
Now it seems the ride on the giant drop has taken over.
The echoes of alerts from laptop, the ticking of the clock non-stop.
Missy Lonely in thoughts of many.
Somehow events and people have led her to some past.
The rights and wrongs, truth and lies.
The many should do's and not do's came back to mind.
Now leaving the unknowns to hands of self.
The unsaid but felt, the said but not felt.
To love or not to, to be or not to be with.
Realising that some just cannot be forgotten nor erased.
Those dear will remain special somehow.
If things are to happen for good, shall I or not?
Will hurt come along with wrong decisions?
The to-be-held-on or passing clouds to wave at.
Words hardly describe the ideals.
Left in a confusion.
Let time take over.
Hopes bring disappointments.
Living the days bring surprises?
Miss Lonely and her blabbers.
Now it seems the ride on the giant drop has taken over.
The echoes of alerts from laptop, the ticking of the clock non-stop.
Missy Lonely in thoughts of many.
Somehow events and people have led her to some past.
The rights and wrongs, truth and lies.
The many should do's and not do's came back to mind.
Now leaving the unknowns to hands of self.
The unsaid but felt, the said but not felt.
To love or not to, to be or not to be with.
Realising that some just cannot be forgotten nor erased.
Those dear will remain special somehow.
If things are to happen for good, shall I or not?
Will hurt come along with wrong decisions?
The to-be-held-on or passing clouds to wave at.
Words hardly describe the ideals.
Left in a confusion.
Let time take over.
Hopes bring disappointments.
Living the days bring surprises?
Miss Lonely and her blabbers.
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