Lost Without

Before, there were no directions, no love.
World was round the globe, shared with many strangers.
There were many things to think about, however easily ignored.
That alone feeling was hard to swallow, but shared with those on the same ground.
No fears, no tears, just a hiding ground.

The burdens from within cannot be unloaded.
Did not dare to, did not want to.
Led life by days, not bothered to even count.

Till then and there, there was a meaning to not stay alone.
There was a choice, a chance for sharing.
Taken steps back, did not dare.
Through courage, steps made forward.
Hopes were filled, love felt.

Seven hours apart, miles away.
It would only lesson the worry to be closer, nearer.
Decision executed, delivered, in hope of making it easier.

Home sweet home.
Many things fall upon, invisibly.
Tried unloading, tried searching for the right words.
All did not come out right.

Felt a distant, further than those miles apart.
Uncertainties, fears and all laid down hard.
Struggles to find, to fit, to be the best.
No energy, not hype. Just blank.
Expectations from her, work and fears of losing.

Passion decreases, insecurities increases.
Not good enough? No love anymore?
What is really wrong?
Passion very often forms that equation with feelings.

Struggled further, dug deeper, sank and sunk.
Awakened by mistakes, no excuses.
A slap hard on the face, no longer able to hide.
Face it, do it, be responsible and accountable.
The world now is no longer with strangers.
But with people closest to your heart.

What can be done can be done.
With support and encouragement.
With the effort of not fearing failures.
With courage and an identity.

Just don't want this to go on like this.
Just want to know the heart that speaks truth.
If we can, we will make it far, not you, not I, but us.
Leaning on the promises of taking my hands, leading me.
Show me the world you wanted to.

Lost Without.....

What can I do?

What can I do to make you happy?
What can I do to take care of you?
What can I do to have you smile like before?
What can I do to make you feel from the start?
What can I do to draw that distance nearer?
What can I do to keep you?

What can I do to make it?
What can I do?

Not Knowing HOW2BE

Used to be assuring.
Used to be WE and US.

Is now wrong or right.
Is now YOU or I.

Not knowing HOW2BE.
Struggling to be the best for US.
Not knowing HOW2BE,
Just searching to be that girl for US.

It is simple.
It is by feel.
Feel instead of trying too hard.
Is that not what formed the beginning?

It was a choice.
It is now the chosen.
It was conditioning style.
It is now boot camp style.

Not knowing HOW2BE,
How not to matter to me?

Not knowing HOW2BE,
It will get better,
As long as WE are together.

Stop

Stop searching,
Stop right there.
Stop that insecurity,
Stop suspecting everything.

Stop negativity,
Stop clouding.
Stop this feel,
Stop contradicting.

Stop, just stop!

Weird as it should not be...

Looked forward path,
Where belonging should be.
Weird enough,
is not there.

Looked forward events,
When time can be spent,
Weird enough,
is not there.

Looked forward warmth,
Without having to ask,
Weird enough,
is not there.

Weird that relationships turned cold,
that distance took the lead,
that over time it made everyone strangers,
Weird as it should not be.